The Dueling Dutch Woman

The Adventures of a Middle Aged Dutch Woman

Archive for weekend

Good mooded…

What amazes me is that I’m always in a good mood when I wake up in the middle of the night after I’ve slept several hours. Without fail, I feel good. I’m always good natured. To me that means that I should get as much sleep as often as I can and therefor I’m glad I take naps in the afternoon. I think they are very nurturing to my soul. I usually feel good too after I wake up from one and do my best thinking, just as I do that now. At least, I think I do. I do need to drink a cup of coffee, of course. I need to sharpen my mind somewhat.

Since it is officially Saturday already, I get to look forward to the weekend and sleeping late in the morning. Being completely lazy too. Well, as far as daily life allows me to be. There are the inevitable chores, of course. There’s always something to do, but it will be the minimum amount. You see, I still enjoy the weekends and the sense of freedom that they bring. Weekends are like mini vacations and give me the break I need. Whatever stress I feel during the week, I don’t feel during the weekends.

I haven’t really been feeling a lot of stress, as my life has been very low key and non eventful. Just as I like it. I want to say that I plan it that way on purpose and for the most part I do, but nothing important seems to happen in it at the moment. All the little hitches in it are other people’s and seem to resolve themselves with hardly any interference from me. All I am is a listening ear and an occasional advice giver. That seems to be my task in life.

As long as my mood stays steady, I have nothing to complain about. I’m currently not going through any great ups and downs. Thank goodness for that. I’m not on a roller coaster ride. One day is as predictable as the next. That’s very comforting. It’s nice to know ahead of time how your day will be and how you are going to be put together. That way you can look forward to it and make some sort of plan. There’s nothing nicer than a steady day.

I do appreciate predictability. I like for everything to be the same as much as possible. I do dislike unexpected events and I like to know everything well ahead of time. That means I’m not much of a spontaneous person. I think I used to be one in another life, but I’ve stopped being one. I like plain ordinary days. As long as they go without a hitch, I’m happy. To me those are successful days.

I find that I function best if I’m not stormy and dramatic and don’t go looking for adventures. My life goes better if I don’t. I have better outcomes and leave less casualties. I also provide the security that I really need and the solid base I need to build my life on. Especially now that I’m on my own.

I need to go back to bed. It’s time to sleep some more. It’s not nearly morning and no early birds are singing yet. They won’t start for another hour.  The dog is sound asleep on the coffee table and the cat is asleep on the sofa. To them it is still nighttime. And right they are.

I hope you’ll all have a good weekend.





>Waiting for the rain…


As is usual, I’m up in the middle of the night with my cups of coffee and my cigarettes. The dog is asleep on the coffee table and the cat is asleep on the sofa, which is a more normal place to be asleep on. It’s a good thing that the coffee table is so sturdy. In fact, it is just about indestructible and can carry the weight of the dog easily. He must know that as he’s sound asleep and totally oblivious of everything. 
He’s been on two wild goose chases out on the patio looking for I know not what. He was on the trail of something, possibly a hedgehog. He didn’t find anything, but wouldn’t come in until I threatened to lock him out. He nearly got stuck in the jasmine bush and it served him right. He’s way too curious for his own good. He pretends he badly has to go out and do a piddle, only to go sniffing all over the place and ignoring me when I try to get him to come in. 
The cat’s a much simpler creature and takes care of herself. She’s so uncomplicated. Except for the occasional mouse she brings in, she’s not much trouble. There’s a huge difference in the instruction booklets of both animals. You need a bookwork for the dog and a pamphlet for the cat. Cats are self explanatory. They are completely fool proof, excuse the unintentional pun.
Yesterday I put together a new outfit of two unrelated pieces of clothing. It looked good and I was much pleased. It seems I always get lucky with my clothes and am able to mix and match a lot. Maybe it’s because I stick to the same basic colors and that the main one is black with which I combine others. I seem to pick autumn colors a lot while originally I’m supposed to be a summer colors person. I think maybe I’ve changed over the years. 
Purging my closet has made it easier to pick out outfits. I have a much better view of the clothes I have available now. I’ve put things that were folded on shelves on hangers to give me a better idea of what’s there. I have more room to do that now. It helps to get dressed if your closet is organized. There’s no hopeless searching through clothes that don’t fit or are otherwise obsolete.

It helps that the weather has been cooler because this gives me more chance to wear the clothes that I like best. Skimpy clothes are okay, but not necessarily the ones that I most want to wear. I do like dressing up a bit and I like wearing layers.
Today is Friday and one of the days I enjoy the most. I intend to make the most of it. The domestic help will be here and I’m expecting the Exfactor for coffee, but it’s really the run up to the weekend and the time I like most. The unstructured time. 
I will be watching a lot of tennis on television at Roland Garros. The weather won’t be all that great, so I won’t be outside all that much. The temperatures will be low and we’re still supposed to get that promised rain that hasn’t materialized, but maybe it will today.
I hope you’re all having a good night and sweet dreams. 

>A repeat performance…


It’s in the middle of the night of Thursday going on Friday. Actually, it’s officially Friday already, so I will stick to that. It’s a much more optimistic point of view. The fact is that I like it being Friday instead of Thursday because it’s almost the weekend. I will do a few chores in the morning before the domestic help gets here and then I will be home free. And then, ha ha (laughing wickedly), I will have the weekend all to myself to do with as I please. 
No doubt I’ll fill it with all sorts of interesting things to do such as take naps and watch TV and walk the dog and sit and meditate in my armchair. That is if everything goes well. If I can sustain the mood I’m in. That’s the crucial ingredient. I must be well tempered. That means keeping my mood as balanced as I can get.
At least I can treat myself to a pleasant night sat behind the computer with a nice cup of coffee. That’s one way to get into a good mood. Nobody can take that away from me. I will have the agreeable experience of it and I’m enjoying that a lot. 
There’s no real reason why I should enjoy it this night more than others, because I do enjoy them regularly anyway. Except last night when I was in a minor mood and nothing came of writing a post, but there have to be exceptions to the rule.
There’s no need to over analyze this. Everybody has their ups and downs and I’m no different. Some nights you are full of goodwill and some nights you had better go back to bed, even if it means having a somewhat sleepless night until the morning when you properly fall asleep. 
It’s with some amount of contentment that I sit here now and write down whatever enters my head, although I do try to make rhyme and reason of it. I don’t want to sound completely like a ship set adrift. I do want to make some sense. 
No doubt the coffee is keeping me on the straight and narrow. It does have the tendency to keep my mind focused. At least it prevents me from drifting away from the subject at hand too much. 
But what was the subject at hand? It seems to me that I had not quite chosen one. I think I was just rambling on in a general sort of way and was not really focused on anything in specific. Maybe it’s impossible for me to do that right now. There’s nothing really pressing on my mind.

All I know is that I have to do the dishes this morning and do a load of laundry and dry it outside on the clothes lines. That will give me a good reason to change the bed again tonight and I can’t do that often enough for my taste. The weather is going to be beautiful today and there will be no excuse not to hang the laundry outside. It should be dry in no time because it will be most pleasant out there.
Those are the calls of duty which I’m at liberty to ignore right now because it’s not the right time to give heed to them. I’ve got some sleeping left to do first. It’s with some reluctance that I’m going to go back to bed because I’m not nearly ready to. 
It’s too bad that reality always creeps into your middle of the night musings. It’s that sense of responsibility that calls you back to order. It’s too bad that it’s so exaggerated. I wish I had a little less of it. 
If you’re still up, I hope you’re having a good evening. If you’re asleep, I hope you’ll have a good morning. 

>While I’m at it…


Seeing as though I’m up still and completely calmed down by the extra anti-psychotic tablet I took, I’ll take advantage of the quiet, peaceful feeling and write another post. My state of mind has improved tremendously since I’ve taken the tablet and I feel ever so much better and able to express myself in a much more normal way. I felt sort of flighty before and somewhat angst ridden, but that feeling is gone and now I feel tranquil. 
I think I do have to take advantage of every good moment and not spend it sleeping. There’s time enough for that, as it is early in the night still and tomorrow is Sunday and nobody will be waiting for me to get up on time. Well, there usually isn’t, is there? Not even on weekdays, come to think of it. I do have the luxury of sleeping late very often and I do take advantage of it, but I feel less guilty about it on the weekends. On the weekends, I’m my own mistress and I don’t have to keep up appearances. 
I don’t know who I’m keeping up appearances for, but I suppose it’s for the neighbors, as I feel the social control is very high. I do always feel as though my every move is being watched and that much gossiping is going on. That’s why I always dress with care when I go out, while sometimes I really don’t want to give a hoot. I’m already the odd woman out, being a Hollander and not speaking the local language. Being a woman on my own is an extra disadvantage. 
Well, that’s neither here nor there, you do get used to that and inside you don’t notice it. I think that’s why I like rainy days and everybody is inside minding their own business. There’s a lot of freedom in being the only one out on the street. Of course, I do mind when It’s raining cats and dogs. Even I can’t handle that and don’t venture outside, but an ordinary rainy day with showers is just fine, although I know there’s still a lot of peeking through curtains going on. 
Hey, I don’t want to discuss this subject at all, but it has to do with the loss of privacy and I guess that’s high on my mind. It subconsciously puts pressure on you and causes a constant level of stress. It’s what happens when you live in an overcrowded country. I would like to live someplace where there is lots of personal space and not so much social control. I wouldn’t have such tight muscles in my neck and shoulders so often. 
I’ve been playing with my templates and I don’t know if I’m done yet. I may experiment some more. I have nothing better to do at the moment. I’m not quite ready to go to bed. 
Sleep tight, all you people.

>The silence of midnight…


I’ve already been asleep, but an untimely need to go to the toilet woke me up and needless to say, I can’t go back to sleep afterwards because I’m wide awake by the time I’ve done that and let the dog out back. There’s no need in me to go back to bed and get cozy under the duvet and continue sleeping. I’m as alert as if I’ve slept for hours and I’m ready to be up and do a days worth of work. 
Of course, later on I will get tired again and go back to sleep, but that will be after I’ve been up for a long while and have generally made a nuisance out of myself in some way by changing my blog templates or doing other silly things such as leave many comments and write many emails that are maybe unnecessary and uncalled for. Sometimes I will take any opportunity to make a noise and have an opinion, although I think all of them are actually well grounded and well meant. I don’t make empty noises. 
Yesterday was a Saturday like many others. I didn’t exactly outperform myself. I laid as low as I possibly could with the exception that I walked the dog at regular times. Most of the time I sat in my armchair and watched television because I was trying to not turn on the computer. I’m trying to drop that bad habit during the day because I turn it on when I am bored and write posts out of boredom and that has to be the worst reason to write posts.
Luckily, there are cultural programs on  television on Saturday although some of them are of dubious quality, but I suffer through those. I pretend to watch those for anthropological reasons to see what interests the common masses. The Dutch language hit parade is not something that normally turns me on. That’s worthy of a whole study in itself. It’s a strange phenomenon that is almost totally devoid of quality. I’m always pleasantly surprised when there’s at least one halfway decent song on that does not make my toes curl in my shoes. 
I was trying to get through the day with the least amount of aggravation. Sometimes I appreciate the weekends and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes they are just long boring days to get through, especially when all my chores are done. For some reason, I’m all caught up. I don’t know how that happened either. Normally I save up some things to do.  I even trimmed the fur around the dog’s eyes so he would be able to see well again. It grows very quickly and he peeks through it. 
I appreciate the fact that I don’t have any chores to do to speak of, but I have to find more interesting ways to keep myself occupied besides laying low and watching television. I think it was the mood I was in today that was the cause of that and the news of the major incident of the lone gunman who killed and wounded so many people in that shopping mall in Alphen aan de Rijn. 
It was on the news immediately in the afternoon and on for the rest of the day as more information came in. It was not something to make you feel very cheerful because things like this don’t happen here and it was quite shocking. We know that children were shot, but the authorities won’t yet tell us if they are amongst the people who were killed. I wasn’t going to mention it at all, but it’s bothering me more than I realized. I suppose we will find out more in the morning. 
I suppose on that sad note I will leave you as there is nothing to add. 
Sleep tight.

>Refreshing my mind in the middle of the night…


I’m just the least bit sleepy, but that doesn’t keep me from sitting here and merrily carrying on with my nighttime activities because I am enjoying myself. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now but planted on this chair behind the computer. The call of my bed is not alluring enough to take me there yet. It can wait for a couple more hours. I’d rather not spend my time sleeping now. That would be a terrible waste of time. I’d have to be toppling out of my chair before I did that. 
Toppling out of my chair is hard to do because it has armrests. Most likely I would fall forward with my head on the keyboard and get funny indentations on my forehead. I’ve also been known to end up with my head on the edge of the desk and have a ridge on my forehead that was very painful and visible and hard to explain. It’s a funny way to fall asleep and I hope I don’t do it tonight. Hopefully I’ll crawl to my bed before that time. 
I’ve had three cups of coffee and am not about to fall asleep, regardless of my slight tiredness. I have enough willpower to stay up because I want to. I like sleeping in the morning ever so much better. I like being up in the middle of the night and being a night owl. It suits me to sit here in my bathrobe and to know that the world around me is asleep. I’m not the least bit scared of the bogeyman. There are no ghosts in my world. There’s only the friendliness of the darkness of the night. 
I do get a sore bum from sitting in this chair, although it is a comfortable one. A soft pillow doesn’t help, I’ve tried that. I’ve broken my tail bone once and it will always be a sore spot. I have to sit in a particular way to make it as easy as possible. I would like a big old executive chair to sit in and will one day acquire one. Like I am the CEO of a large company and can lord it over everybody and give myself a big bonus once a year. I can dream, can’t I?
The good thing about being up in the middle of the night is that the animals are asleep the whole time and don’t badger me. Nor is Tyke badgering Gandhi and she has peace and quiet. I don’t have to continually rescue her from his loving embrace. He does still think that he has to show his dominance over her. Especially when he wants attention or when she gets too close to me. He can really be a pain in the neck. I’ve thought about getting him fixed, but the cost is prohibitive right now. Maybe this summer  when I get my vacation allowance. 
Oh, I totally forgot that today is Saturday. That’s nice. All I have to do is go to the tobacco shop and hang up a load of laundry to dry. It’s good that it’s the weekend, although why it is I couldn’t really tell you. I have no good reason for it. I have enough days during the week that feel like days off also. It’s just the general idea that it’s the weekend that makes it feel more festive. The weather isn’t going to be all that great, although the sun is going to shine. It won’t be very warm. 
One thing I have to do today is finish reading my book. That’s one goal I have to set for myself. I’m halfway through it and since it’s not such a big book, I ought to be able to finish it in one day. I really want to move on to the next one and I can’t wait to look on my bookcase to find it. I’ve got two cubbyholes empty to fill up with books and when I’m done reading the ones I still have, I can start ordering new ones. I have to check out Wise Web Woman’s reading list and see what interesting novels she’s got on hers. She’s a connoisseur of good novels.
I think I’ll knit an end to this post and see what other sort of trouble I can get into. Every night I go looking for it. Frustratingly so, usually. 

>In the moonshine…


Frankly, I don’t know if the moon is shining, but I thought I would title this post like that anyway. There’s a fun Dutch nonsense song that starts of that way and it was playing through my head. It’s, amongst other things, about a centipede who has to shine his shoes.
I’m up drinking coffee, but this time there’s no strange dog barking and all is quiet. I went to bed early last night because I didn’t want to watch the news. I saw that Qaddafi’s troops were defeating the rebels and became so disgusted with that, that I very angrily shut off the television. He is bombing them into submission with his airplanes, and there is not yet a no fly zone. It p*sses me off. This came after the very bad news of the nuclear reactors in Japan and my evening of bad news was complete. I had to go to bed after that and pretend to not care anymore. 
I listened on the radio to the outcomes of the different sporting events of the weekend and the interviews with the athletes and the highlights of the games that had been played. Those are something to get lost in and to forget everything else. If nothing else, there’s always sport to fall back onto and it is a world of its own. There were all round speed skating championships this weekend and the Dutch did well.
It’s been a strange weekend. I didn’t have the energy that I had anticipated and that I showed during the night when I was so upbeat. During the day I slept a lot and didn’t get a lot done. I walked Tyke, but other than that I didn’t do very much. I hardly got my chores done and took many naps. My mood wasn’t all that great during the day and I had to fight off somberness and gloom. Things got better toward the evening, but then it was time to go to bed and I normally feel better at that point. 
Except during the night, I’m suffering from a mild depression. The extra medication is not doing its job yet, but then it normally takes a while before it does. It’s not a matter of a few days. It slowly has to build up in your system. It’s nice to pretend that you feel better, but it’s not the reality and you won’t be able to live up to it. 
Today the personal helper and the domestic help will be here. For some reason I’m looking forward to it. I suppose I’m looking forward to the company. I also need help doing the dishes because I’ve not been able to do them. They’ve been too much of a big job to do by myself. I kept putting them off. 
I did get dressed nicely in a cheerful outfit for all the good that did me. At least I looked presentable when I walked Tyke. It didn’t cheer me up as much as I had hoped it would. I’m wearing it today and maybe I will have better results. Right now, it’s the nicest outfit I’ve got. 
I think I will go back to bed now. I’ve got some sleep left in me yet. It will be nice to lie there and listen to the radio. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it. 
Have a good morning when you wake up.