The Dueling Dutch Woman

The Adventures of a Middle Aged Dutch Woman

Archive for coffee

Spending time quietly…

Of course, the darn dog woke me up again and I had to get him quiet as quick as possible. We kept it to one outburst and that was more than enough. It does immediately wake me up out of a sound sleep. I’m as alert as can be and practically jump out of bed. All my senses are at the ready and I can’t go back to sleep once I’ve settled him down. I think my presence reassures him and that’s what makes him relaxed enough to mellow out again. He’s now chewing on his rawhide bone and being totally unaware of everything. That’s how I like that.

I’ve made myself some coffee to clear the cobwebs from my mind. I do want to be able to think clearly when I write a post.

Much to my surprise, I’m now able to get my denim skirt off without undoing the buttons or the zipper. I did it quite by accident the other night like I used to with my other skirts when they got too big on me. I can get it back on the same way. It does save me some work. I had washed it and thought that maybe it was going to be a little tight on me, but I needn’t have worried.

This has prompted me to order some skinny jeans in a smaller size. I can wear them with all sorts of clothes and make many combinations. At least, that’s what I envision in my mind. I do look forward to getting them on Thursday and trying these things out.

I still haven’t been on the bathroom scale first thing in the morning in my underwear. I keep forgetting to get on it before I have eaten anything, but I’ll let how my clothes fit be the indicator. I’m still curious about the weight I’ve lost and I’ll try to remember to weigh myself this morning first thing when I get up again.

I don’t want to seem obsessed with my weight and my clothes, but when you have lost as much weight as I have, it is a big deal. Especially when you come within reach of your goal. I have lost more than 100 lbs. That’s as much as a skinny person. I wouldn’t be able to lift 100 lbs. Just think that I had been carrying all that weight with me. No wonder I had lower back problems.

Today is going to be a splendidly empty day. It will only be filled with laundry and walking the dog and getting the mail out of the mailbox. Isn’t that just great? And I don’t expect any important mail either. I took care of that yesterday and took care of my paperwork too. A lot of that could go into the recycle box.

Tonight starts a month full of British detective series every night. I can’t wait and I’m so thrilled about it. They must have known that I was starved for thrillers. We will have Silent Witness, Frost, Case Sensitive, Lewis and some other newer series. Oh yes, the Swedish Wallander too. My cup runneth over. You know what I will be doing every evening. I will not be bored. Thank goodness for small favors.

I’m getting tired and have to go back to bed. The early birds are singing.

Have a good day, all of you.

Ciao,

Nora

 

 

 

A new book…

I’ve been laying in bed for a couple of hours reading a new novel (The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving) but I was not able to fall asleep. I got very caught up in the story and was unable to put the book down. It’s another one I’ve read before, but this time it’s long enough ago that I’ve forgotten a lot about it and it’s like reading a brand new book in a lot of ways. I do remember certain events as I read them, but not in great detail. It must be at least 25 years ago since I read this novel first.

As a result, I have to pay attention better and it’s taking me longer to read it. I can’t very smoothly get through it. The sometimes shocking things that happen in it do trip me up. It maybe is not such a good idea to read it in bed before going to sleep because it keeps me awake. I’m too unaware of what’s going to happen next and expect the worst. In John Irving’s novels the worst does happen.  I finally put the book away, but I was too wide awake to go to sleep. I’m hoping that sitting here for awhile will make me sleepy so I can go back to bed. I think that will happen sooner rather than later.

I’ve had one cup of coffee and am now drinking milk. A tall cool glass of it. I had the coffee to straighten out my head, it was so filled with images of that novel. It was like I had been immersed in a film and disconnected from reality. That’s the hard part about reading novels. You do need to reattach yourself to the real world around you. I always feel separated from it. I suppose I dislike that. I don’t like to be out of touch with reality and lost in make believe. Some books really do that to you.

It’s not been a bad day when you consider that ‘The Black Dog’ is still lurking in the background. He’s keeping a bit quiet, but he is there and growling occasionally to remind me of his presence. I’m doing much better than I was two days ago, so whatever I’m doing is the right thing.  That’s treating myself as kindly as I possibly can and not letting myself get pulled down by negative thinking. I don’t analyze myself or my situation. I find distraction helps the best.

I’m going back to bed. I hope you’re all having a good night.

Ciao,

Nora

 

An honest effort…

I woke up in a sweat with my hair all wet. I don’t know why, it’s not that warm in here and the bedroom window was open. They say it’s good to sleep with a cool head, that you sleep better then. That certainly didn’t apply to me tonight. I had a hot and sweaty head and woke up from it. I felt like laying a bag of frozen peas on it, but it’s cooling off as I sit here now with my cup of coffee and my hair is drying up. I think I will not wear socks when I go back to bed next. Maybe I should go to bed naked.

I took refuge in my bed early tonight because staying up was too much of an effort. The ‘black dog’ was breathing down my neck and making me think unpleasant thoughts that i was not in the mood for thinking. They were totally useless and unnecessary thoughts and served no purpose whatsoever. The only thing they did was get me down. I could think of only one escape and that was safely lying in bed listening to the radio. Luckily, that was almost enough of a diversion until I went to sleep.

Sleep is the only true diversion from my thoughts and when I wake up, I feel better for at least a while afterwards. Such are its restorative powers.

The Exfactor was here yesterday and he bought me a loaf of sliced white bread and a box of dark chocolate sprinkles. Now, when I have a craving, I have a slice of bread with that on it and I feel so good. It’s like manna from heaven. It satisfies my deepest longings. That’s the craving I always get when the ‘black dog’ is visiting. At least the gastric band limits how many of these slices of bread I can eat. I’m not a lost cause altogether.

There’s a part of me that wants to be upbeat and happy and that wants to fight against the downbeat and dark side of me. That must be because it’s the middle of the night and there’s room for both of them. It would be the only time that there were. I don’t feel this way during the day.

I just let the dog out back and stood outside by the back door. It was so nice and cool out there. It was very refreshing. I feel properly chilled now and am going to have to put on my bathrobe. There was moonshine with just a few clouds and no wind, just cold night air. It would have been nice to have gone for a walk in it, but I’m too chicken to do it.

In spite of everything, yesterday went by quickly. There was some respite in the form of television, but I was put off by what I saw on the news and the weekly chat with the prime minister who’s as slippery as an eel. My toes curl when I listen to him talk. He’s so very much not my favorite person. I wouldn’t shake his hand if I met him.

There’s a lot of nonsense on television in the summer season which has already started. It’s when you have to push the off button and refuse to watch it. It’s the negative aspect of summertime.

I’m going to have to go back to bed.  I’m not really ready to, but I don’t know what else to do. There’s no other sort of trouble I can get into. I’m going to have to be well behaved.

Ciao,

Nora

 

 

 

 

 

No rest for the wicked…

I’ve barely slept yet. I decided to go to bed early, but the dog just jumped on the bed and decided to lick me awake very enthusiastically. It turned out that he had to go out back for a piddle an this is a new tactic for waking me up. I must say that I prefer it to being barked awake. This is a much kinder way of being woken up. There’s nothing like being slobbered in the face by a happy puppy. I had to push him off me in order to be able to get up, but he figured that out quickly enough. He’s a pretty hefty dog and hard to move, so it helps if he co-operates. .

Now he’s lying by my feet and he’s sound asleep. Actually, he ‘s lying on top of my feet as is his usual thing to do. He needs to be in the closest contact with me and I can’t move my feet, even though I have to eventually. I’ll get cramp in my legs if I don’t. Other than that, it’s nice and warm to have him lie there. At least I don’t need to wear socks. His body always generates heat.

I don’t know what happened to the cat in all the turmoil. She was lying beside my pillows, but I think maybe she went outside too. I haven’t seen her since and she must be on the prowl. As long as she doesn’t come home with a mouse, it’s okay… No, I just checked. She’s still asleep on the bed. She’s a good loyal cat. She knows when she’s comfortable. Apparently the dog’s antics didn’t bother her one bit. That goes to show you that she is used to quite a bit.

I’m so sleepy headed still. I’m making myself a small pot of freshly brewed coffee. Hopefully that will perk me up for a while. At least until I get ready to go back to bed again. By that time I will be drinking cold milk. I had two glasses of mild orange juice last night and took some antacid tablets and they really helped. I didn’t have my stomach bother me one bit. It is a good solution and I get my vitamin C in too.

Yesterday went well, even the visit with my personal helper did.  She was not so pushy and not micro managing me. Maybe that’s because I’m more assertive. It puts us more on equal footing, which is how it should be. I also found out that she has high blood pressure and that she’s going through the menopause, so I must keep that in mind when dealing with her.

Well, I’ve been sitting here for half an hour now without anything to add so I think I will end this post and go do something else until I’m ready to go back to sleep.

I hope you’re all having a good night.

Ciao,

Nora

 

 

 

 

 

In the safety of the night…

I’m writing this in the safety of the night with the aid of my cup of coffee and my cigarettes. Life wouldn’t be complete without them. Without my addictions that one day I will get over. I am sure of that. When I’m an old lady I will drink decaffeinated coffee and smoke smokeless cigarettes, the kind that work on loadable batteries. I just haven’t quite figured out the timing yet.

Anyway, I’m sitting here in the safety of the night, very cozily by the light of the desk lamp. I’ve got my pajamas and my socks on and the reason I’ve got my socks on, is because I’ve gotten into the habit of richly anointing my feet with well scented lotion every night before I go to bed. I not only anoint my feet, but my legs and arms and hands as well, especially the rough patches. I go to sleep slippery and smelling very nicely.

It’s become a regular ritual that I look forward to and thanks to a good friend, who spoiled me with some big tubes of very good scented lotions, I won’t run out very soon. After that, I have a whole big bottle of baby lotion. I didn’t realize it was such fun to spoil myself this way. My feet especially seem to benefit from this treatment as the roughness is getting a lot better and they are slowly turning smoother. I will have lily white soft feet yet.

So, I am taking care of my feminine duties after all and turning into a real woman. It comes with age, I think. I realized I have to take care of this middle aged body and help it along a little bit. Facial creme is next. Plain soap and water won’t do anymore. I’ll soon get wrinkles and I’ll have to start that battle. But I’m not going out and buying some expensive product that has some sort of expensive ingredient. I will get the plainest creme I can find.

As I’m writing this at a snail’s pace, it is slowly turning into morning and before long  the early birds are going to sing. Actually, I think I already hear the first ones.  They always make me feel that I should be in a rush and finish writing because I ought to get back to bed to get some more sleep. I’ve already switched to drinking milk and have left the coffee far behind me. Coffee is okay for the first two cups, but after that I’ve had enough. I’m always more than wide awake by then and ready to settle down again.

I’ll take my medicines and go back to bed. The Exfactor is going to be here some time later this morning to do the groceries. I want to be up and dressed before he gets here. We’ve been separated 3 years this month and it is unseemly to be seen in my pajamas by him. Besides, I don’t look my best in them.

I hope you’ll all have a good day. It’s going to be cloudy and cool here.

Ciao,

Nora

Freshly brewed coffee…

It is in the middle of the night and I am having a very tasty cup of coffee and a cigarette. Who could possibly ask for more? Yes, I would like a bowl of ice cream, vanilla if you please, but that is just a passing craving that I’ll get over.  I will have a glass of cold milk later on and that will take care of that. Glasses of cold milk are usually the answer to any kind of craving I may have. They are the perfect solution and satisfy me completely.

Yesterday we had a thundershower that brought gentle rain that fell for several hours. It wasn’t a lot of rain and I don’t know if it ended the drought, but it was very pleasant to listen to and very refreshing. It cooled things off a little bit. I fell asleep instantly listening to it when I took my afternoon nap and it was still coming down when I woke up.

I took the dog for a walk in it without wearing a jacket, that’s how gently it came down, and I didn’t mind getting wet. It certainly made everything smell good. Today we are supposed to have some spotty showers and I do hope they come about. I like the rain and we need it. I like going for walks in it, especially when it’s not cold outside.

It can’t ruin my hairdo, as I have such short hair that there’s not much to ruin. All I have to do is let it dry the natural way or rub it dry with a towel depending on how wet it gets. I also imagine that the rain is good for my skin, but I don’t know how true that is. I don’t know how much it’s influenced by air pollution.

Yesterday was a very non eventful day. You could say that it was a day as I like it. It was a typical low key Sunday. The highlight of the day was the tennis match between Nadal and Federer. I ended up rooting for Federer after all since he was the underdog. Of course, Nadal won.

In the evening, I was sitting slumped in my armchair for a long time and when I got up I had a terrific pain in my back in the usual spot. I had a heck of a time getting up and was like a little old lady when I tried to move around. There’s something to be said for sitting in your chair properly. I took some pain medication and went to bed on my fairly firm mattress and now the pain is gone. That bed of mine is good for my back. It always makes things better.

Today is not my favorite day with both my personal helper and the domestic help going to be here, but I have to see it through, little as I like it. Maybe there will be a day when I will appreciate them better again, especially my personal helper. I think she’s the one I have the most problems with. I don’t like her presence here.

I’ve got to go back to bed for some more hours of sleep. I’ll have to set the alarm clock so I’ll be coherent when the personal helper gets here. She always does expect me to be ready for a conversation the minute she walks in. There’s no gentle prelude.

Have a nice day.

Ciao,

Nora

 

 

Just give me more coffee…

I’m not really awake yet. As far as I’m concerned it’s all an illusion that I’m sitting here behind the computer. Or a dream I’m having, but it does seem awfully real. I’ve made a pot of coffee in order to wake up and I hope it’s going to happen any minute now. I’ve nearly finished my first cup and reality should dawn on me soon.

I feel I’ve only briefly been asleep and that’s probably true because I didn’t go to bed until after midnight. I watched comedy on television and it was good. I actually laughed and was very amused. That doesn’t happen very often and I was left with a good feeling. Thinking back on it, I can instantly recall that good feeling and smile again.

I’m drinking my second cup of coffee and I think I’m awake now. I’ve ceased yawning and I can think clearly. Things no longer seem like an illusion. That’s a relief. It’s good to be back amongst the living. It felt a little strange to be so disconnected. It is much better to be in touch again. Now the night feels just like any other ordinary night.

There was going to be a good British thriller on after midnight, but I decided I shouldn’t stay up that late. It was an episode of the series ‘Taggart.’ I’ve never watched it, but it seemed interesting and gruesome enough. It must always be on late at night for me to have never seen it. They must save the real scary stuff for then.

All that’s on for thrillers on Wednesday nights right now is ‘Midsommer Murders.’  That’s amusing enough and I always watch it, but I miss ‘Inspector Linley.’ I’m waiting with bated breath for the new episodes and for other British thrillers such as ‘Silent Witness.’ I can’t wait to see what the new season will bring.

I shouldn’t wish for that too much, though, because it won’t start until the fall and we first have summer to get through and enjoy. I mustn’t dismiss summer because it will be over fast enough and I will be sorry when it is. I want to enjoy every day of it. It already started yesterday when we had temperatures of 29C. Luckily, inside the apartment it stayed nice and cool, so I didn’t suffer too much. It was only bad when I had to walk the dog in the hot sun and out of the breeze.

I wore a summer dress that I’d only worn one time before and it fit a lot better because I’d lost weight. It looked a lot nicer too. I felt more comfortable in it and not so shy about going out in it. It was very cool to wear and exposed a lot of skin. I will get a tan in it. But today we are supposed to get a few thunder showers and on Monday it’s supposed to rain.

It won’t be so hot then and that’s okay with me. I like the milder temperatures. I doesn’t have to be so hot for me. The problem is that it also gets humid and that’s no pleasure. I’m used to the dry heat of California. That’s much more bearable.

Today I’m going to watch the men’s final at Roland Garros. I think it is on in the afternoon. I watched the women’s final yesterday. I was rooting for both people. I didn’t have a favorite. It should be an exciting game today. I will root for Nadal.

I’m going back to bed. I’ve got a lot of sleeping left to do. The early birds are singing and I will go to sleep listening to them.

I hope you will all have a nice day.

Ciao,

Nora