The Dueling Dutch Woman

The Adventures of a Middle Aged Dutch Woman

Archive for clothes

Staying up past my bedtime…

I tried to go to sleep, I really did. I made an honest effort and laid under the duvet with my eyes closed and my body as relaxed as I could get it. Then the animals started cavorting on the bed as if I wasn’t in it. I pushed them both off and started the falling asleep process all over again, but it was to no avail. I just couldn’t reach that magical state of mind called slumber. I was wide awake for some reason and I knew I had to get up and start the process over again from scratch.

So here I’m sitting with a cup of coffee only slightly dopey, but full of good intentions. The dopiness is from the sleeping pills I took that didn’t quite work and that give me a pleasant feeling of a slight drug inducement. I’m yawning a little bit, but it’s not so bad that the tears are running down my face. I’m not sleepy, but pleasantly high, though not to the point that I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. It will wear off in a while like it always does. It’s just a temporary condition. I’d like to feel this way always. Talk about escapism.

My two pairs of jeans arrived this afternoon and I needn’t have worried about them being too tight because they fit just fine. As a matter of fact, the next time I order jeans, I can get them a size smaller easily. They truly are skinny jeans and these are hip huggers and I can pull them off and on without unbuttoning or unzipping them. I have no bottom and no thighs. I wore the one pair for the rest of the day and they were very comfortable. I felt skinny and like I had long legs. That was a whole new experience.

I can greatly recommend getting skinny jeans if they fit you. They are ever so flattering and then of course, I have all these tops to go with them. I put what I wore with them in the laundry tonight and will have to get something out of my closet in the morning that’s equally exciting. No doubt I will find something. I want to look sexy at my age. I haven’t for such a long time and I want to look attractive at least from a distance. Never mind what I look like up close, although I do my best for that too.

The dog was trimmed this morning and when the Exfactor brought him home he looked like another dog. He was cut so short that I hardly recognized him. He looked feistier and less cuddly and seemed to act that way too. Of course, he was super excited from his outing and took some time to settle down. I spent the rest of the day playing with him and cuddling him so we could bond again. He sure appreciated that and it worked well. I felt that we needed to re-establish our relationship because he was being so silly.

While the dog was gone, the cat walked all over the apartment looking for him and she greeted him extensively when he came home. She does miss him when he is gone, even though he can be such a pest.

I gave the dog his new dog food in the afternoon and it seems we have a winner with this one. He emptied his bowl in one fell swoop. He usually dawdles over his food and takes forever to finish it. I think he used to eat with reluctance and now he eats with an appetite.

Tonight was another British thriller night and we had a new episode of Inspector Linley. This started 6 months after he had lost his wife Helen to the shooting and he was drowning his sorrow in booze, but got over it by solving a particularly horrid case. I was spellbound and on the edge of my seat. I do love Inspector Linley and his sidekick Barbara. It was a thoroughly satisfying evening, but it does put me to bed late. I don’t know yet what’s on tomorrow night, but I hope it’s equally exciting.

By the way, I answer your comments by writing a reply comment. You can keep track of those by clicking on the little box beside ‘notify me of follow up comments.’  I’m not ignoring you. I don’t know a better way to reply.

I think I’ll go back to bed to sleep some more.

Have a good day when you get up.

Ciao,

Nora

 

 

In the early dawn…

The first birds have just started to sing and their timing is excellent because I’ve gotten up just a while ago and am ready for the day to start. The sun won’t rise for another hour, though, and in the meantime I will sit here with my coffee and cigarettes and write this post. I feel wide awake, but that may be a temporary condition and I may be struck by sleep yet and have to go back to bed later. It all depends on how much I like being up already so early in the morning. It may not turn out to be the great thing that I think it is now.

The Exfactor is going to be here at 10 am to pick up the dog to take him to the dog trim salon to have his fur trimmed. Hopefully it will not be raining then as we are expecting a few showers today. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it will stay dry this morning, at least until the dog is safely dropped of. It would be hard to trim him if he’s wet.

The Exfactor is doing me an enormous favor by taking the dog there, as it is impossible for me to make the trip there and back twice. I get an enormous lower backache if I try. It’s just too much of an effort for me. The Exfactor does it so much more easily as he does seem to do everything more easily when it comes to physical effort. He’s a wiry and strong man and does things with half as much effort as I do.

As I had planned, I watched the first British thriller last night. I was perfectly set for it and had put on my pajamas and bathrobe so that I would be able to go straight to bed afterwards. I watched the first episode of the series ‘Case Sensitive’ and I must say that it was very good. I didn’t know who had done it until the whole thing began to become unraveled. It had many satisfying surprises in it. I must become used to the investigating duo, but their relationship will evolve as the series evolves. It’s all a matter of chemistry, I’m sure.

Today I’m expecting my new skinny jeans and I’m looking forward to getting them. I took a chance by ordering them a size smaller and I may have to push and shove my way into them and they still may not fit. I won’t know until I actually try them on. I will be keeping them if they are too tight because I know they eventually will fit. It would only be a matter of time until they did. But I’m running way ahead of myself and just have to wait and see. I’m just preparing myself for all the eventualities.

I have to do the dishes and a load of laundry and put away the dry clothes. I also have to order a new supply of medicines. For me this is an eventful day and I look forward to it with some amount of anticipation. Anything out of the ordinary tends to set me wobbling. I must make sure that I stay very grounded. I don’t like for many things to be different. I like plain ordinariness the best.

I’m going to take my medicines and go back to bed for a little while. I can sleep for a few more hours. I’ll have to set the alarm clock so I’ll be up on time.

Have a nice day.

Ciao,

Nora

 

Spending time quietly…

Of course, the darn dog woke me up again and I had to get him quiet as quick as possible. We kept it to one outburst and that was more than enough. It does immediately wake me up out of a sound sleep. I’m as alert as can be and practically jump out of bed. All my senses are at the ready and I can’t go back to sleep once I’ve settled him down. I think my presence reassures him and that’s what makes him relaxed enough to mellow out again. He’s now chewing on his rawhide bone and being totally unaware of everything. That’s how I like that.

I’ve made myself some coffee to clear the cobwebs from my mind. I do want to be able to think clearly when I write a post.

Much to my surprise, I’m now able to get my denim skirt off without undoing the buttons or the zipper. I did it quite by accident the other night like I used to with my other skirts when they got too big on me. I can get it back on the same way. It does save me some work. I had washed it and thought that maybe it was going to be a little tight on me, but I needn’t have worried.

This has prompted me to order some skinny jeans in a smaller size. I can wear them with all sorts of clothes and make many combinations. At least, that’s what I envision in my mind. I do look forward to getting them on Thursday and trying these things out.

I still haven’t been on the bathroom scale first thing in the morning in my underwear. I keep forgetting to get on it before I have eaten anything, but I’ll let how my clothes fit be the indicator. I’m still curious about the weight I’ve lost and I’ll try to remember to weigh myself this morning first thing when I get up again.

I don’t want to seem obsessed with my weight and my clothes, but when you have lost as much weight as I have, it is a big deal. Especially when you come within reach of your goal. I have lost more than 100 lbs. That’s as much as a skinny person. I wouldn’t be able to lift 100 lbs. Just think that I had been carrying all that weight with me. No wonder I had lower back problems.

Today is going to be a splendidly empty day. It will only be filled with laundry and walking the dog and getting the mail out of the mailbox. Isn’t that just great? And I don’t expect any important mail either. I took care of that yesterday and took care of my paperwork too. A lot of that could go into the recycle box.

Tonight starts a month full of British detective series every night. I can’t wait and I’m so thrilled about it. They must have known that I was starved for thrillers. We will have Silent Witness, Frost, Case Sensitive, Lewis and some other newer series. Oh yes, the Swedish Wallander too. My cup runneth over. You know what I will be doing every evening. I will not be bored. Thank goodness for small favors.

I’m getting tired and have to go back to bed. The early birds are singing.

Have a good day, all of you.

Ciao,

Nora

 

 

 

Awake, am I…?

I would really and truly be sound asleep still if the dog had not woken me up, of that I am convinced. He did have to start barking and in my sleep I thought I had to remove something from his throat to make the barking stop. That’s until I woke up and I realized that was not possible and he just wanted to tell me that he had to go out back for a piddle.

Darn dog. He does have bad timing. I considered going back to bed, but then decided to stay up for a while and have my coffee and write this post. It’s good to sit here half asleep in a stupor and to try to make sense. It’s a bit of a challenge that I’m willing to take on. I do like that half awake state of being I’m in anyway. I feel sort of dopey and it’s very pleasant to force myself into the mental activity that I’m almost not up to.

No doubt I’ll be better up to it once the coffee starts working and that will be a whole different experience too. You see how I like to play with the different states of my mind and live vicariously through all of them. As long as I’m good natured, I see no problem. And good natured  I am, make no mistake about it.  As a rule, I’m not foul mooded when I wake up.

Yesterday was a fine day. It went by quickly and I enjoyed t well enough. The Exfactor was here to do the groceries and he stopped by the pet shop to buy the dog another rubber toy. It was a great success. It is a rooster instead of a rabbit like he had the last time and he’s very busy chewing it to pieces. I don’t know how long it will last, but he’s having a very good time with it.

Thank goodness there’s milk again and I can have tall glasses of it. That’s what I missed most of all. All the rest of the groceries I didn’t care about.  Not that they weren’t necessary, of course. I’ve stopped eating chocolate pudding and now have vanilla pudding instead. I thought it might be a little lower in calories. I eat the same amount every day, so maybe I will see the difference on the bathroom scale. I keep forgetting to get on it first thing in the morning in my underwear, so I don’t know exactly what I weigh now.

My psychiatrist called me and had expected me to have reduced the anti-psychotics by half a milligram starting last Friday. I had to be honest with him and tell him that I had reduced them with a full milligram two weeks ago. He was not that happy with me for taking such a chance and for not informing him earlier that I had done so. Luckily, it had a good outcome, but it very easily also could not have had. He is trying to instill in me the precariousness of my situation and the danger of slipping into an instable mood. I’m not to undertake these actions on my own.

I’m going to stay on the dose that I am on now for a while and make sure I’m completely stable. In a few months we’ll try to reduce it more. I really feel good and have no problems with my moods. I’m not going up and down and generally feel the same every day. I’m quite content with how I feel and have no complaints. I would always like to feel this good. I think what I did was the right thing. I did it instinctively and I don’t feel like I’ve made a mistake. I would have gone back to the original dose if there had been a problem.

This morning at 9 o’clock my personal helper is going to be here because she couldn’t be here on Monday. I’m looking forward to it with mixed feelings. She can help me do the dishes, so that’s good. We can walk the dog together. I don’t know what else to do with her except pass the time as well as possible.

We’re supposed to have spotty showers today, but the temperatures are going to be good. It’s not at all going to be cold. I’m looking forward to the day because, except for my personal helper, the rest of the day will be very uneventful. That’s just the way I like it. I don’t really enjoy being up that early in the morning, I like sleeping later than that, but I’ll take my usual nap in the afternoon to make up for it.

I’ve got my clothes picked out and they are very comfortable and just right for this kind of weather. I’ve been wearing my high tops because it’s so nice to walk in them and they’re easy to get on. My hair has been especially no nonsense and I’ve had to do hardly anything to it in the morning. I just run my fingers through it and it’s in place. I guess it’s just the right length now.

I suppose I’ll go back to bed for a few hours. I can get a little bit of sleep yet.

I hope you’ll all have a nice day.

Ciao,

Nora

Can’t get my act together…

I laid in bed for two hours and couldn’t fall asleep. I tried my best by listening to the radio and being relaxed, but sleep would not come. I finally said, “The heck with that,” and got up and made myself some coffee. Now I will sit here until I get good and tired, although I am somewhat in a slightly sleep induced state of mind now. It just wasn’t enough to make me fall asleep. I had too many thoughts going through my head and the radio only distracted me more.

It must have been the subject matters that were discussed because they were all about problem areas in the world and what should be done about them and I felt very frustrated in not being able to do anything at all except being very well informed and knowing what I’m talking about. It might have been better to put on a CD by Erica Satie and have listened to his very soothing piano music. He was considered eccentric in his day and age, but I think he is perfect for this century.

I watched and listened to a repeat of the Prinsengracht concert this afternoon of 2010 and it was very lovely. The 30th one will be held this year and it is always a big happening that everyone looks forward to. There’s always a big soloist and a good soprano who sings arias. It’s held on a podium in a canal in the middle of Amsterdam surrounded by people in boats and on the docks and bridges. It’s got a good atmosphere and is a fine evening. There’s a sing along at the end. Young and old go to watch it. It gets you in a fine mood.

We had a brief shower this past evening when I was lying in bed. It sounded very cozy and I hoped it would last a while, but it was over in a few minutes. That was a short lived joy. It barely got the ground wet and didn’t amount to much. That was the rain that was predicted. It should have been a few showers like there are supposed to be today but I won’t hold my breath for them. We here in the very southern part of the country don’t always get the rain that is predicted. A lot of it passes by to the north of us.

I’ve run out of milk and have had to drink orange juice. Since this does not agree with my stomach so well, I’ve had to take stomach tablets that reduce the acid. Luckily, they work. I won’t get new milk until this morning when the Exfactor will get the groceries. I hope he doesn’t get here too late. Doing without milk is difficult. It’s such a soothing beverage for me.

Yesterday was the last day off. Today is not a holiday anymore, but not a lot is going to be happening. It will be a rather peaceful day and only my psychiatrist is going to call me to inquire about my state of mind. I will be able to tell him that it is good after having reduced the medication.  It’s the anti-psychotics that I’ve reduced and I feel fine. I did that two weeks ago and have had no bad effects from it. i have to reduce them one more milligram.

I’ve got to think about the clothes I’m going to wear tomorrow. It’s going to be cloudy but not too cold. Still, I’ll want to wear a cardigan. I want to wear my red one for the cheerfulness of it. I have to think about the rest of the clothes I want to wear with it. Or maybe I’ll pick something completely different. It depends on what skirt I can find to fit me. I washed the one that’s my favorite and it’s not dry yet. The possibilities dazzle my mind.

I’ve got to go back to sleep now and make sure I get up on time in the morning. I can’t stay in bed endlessly, much as I’d like to. Sometimes I do have to act like a responsible person and get up before I’m ready to. It’s really not as painful as I make it sound. It just hurts a little bit.

Have a good morning when you get up.

Ciao,

Nora

 

 

Not a worry in the world…

I’m lying, of course. I have worries just like everybody else, but at this moment I’m in total denial and am planning to be for the rest of the day. The day isn’t going to last that much longer and I’m not going to waste it being worried about anything. You do have to pick the right time to do that. It’s better to do it earlier in the day when you have a chance to actually do something about it. Worrying at the end of the day is not necessary.

I’m glad that it is the end of the afternoon. All I have left to do is walk the dog and it is still dry outside. Earlier there was a huge thundershower and the rain came pouring down hard. That had been forecast and it turned out they were right. Luckily, the dog and I were inside and so was the cat. We missed the whole deluge and were completely safe and dry, but it is said that this rain has still not ended the drought. We need more of it.

The water level in the rivers is below normal and as a result the temperatures are higher and as a result of that the fish are dying. They need to be moved to deeper and cooler places. Some of these fish are enormous. An angler would love to catch one.

It has just started raining again, foiling my plans to take the dog out. It will have to wait a while. The dog is sitting in front of the window, watching it come down. He must understand that we can’t go out now. Do dogs get these kinds of things? Oh, it’s thundering and lightening again too. Well, that will take a while.

The cat is lying very cozily beside my pillows on the bed. She’s smart. She’s figured out very well that this is not a day to go outside. Everywhere she’d go, she’d encounter wet things and you know how cats feel about that. The dog just wanted to go outside. Luckily, he was mostly protected by the overhanging branches of the trees, but he got dripped on anyway. I think curiosity took him outside because he only halfheartedly piddled against a bush.

I’m drinking a glass of cold milk which is giving me lots of energy and renewed vigor. It was just what I needed. It’s making me feel like a million bucks. I already had a cup of coffee so my mind was sharp, or so I thought, but it was really the milk that I needed.  Isn’t it amazing what a cold beverage can do for you? A nutritious one anyway. I’m sure I would not feel the same way with a cold Coke. Besides, it would make me burp something awful.

Today it was cold enough to wear a pair of trousers. I could put my Capri leggings in the laundry. I’m wearing my harem trousers which have the benefit that it doesn’t matter if they are a little big on me. They are roomy anyway and very comfortable. They are my favorite pair to wear.  My new cardigan matches them.

It’s still raining and I have to watch the 6 o’clock news. The dog will have to be patient.

Have a good evening.

Ciao,

Nora

 

 

 

In spite of myself…

I very cheerfully keep turning out one post after another despite the fact that I get very few comments. I’ve decided that this is not for the lack of readers, but that it just means that my readers don’t comment. They must be so awestruck by what I’ve written that they don’t know what to say. Isn’t that a satisfactory explanation? It means that I can keep writing and assume that enough of you are reading me to make it worthwhile.

If nothing else, I have something to do on those boring moments when I can reread my own old posts and see how I was doing. That’s always a pleasant occupation because I learn a lot from it and see behavior of myself that’s clearly not always rational and is usually linked to something else that is happening in my life, no matter how subtle it is. I see all the little potholes and bumps in the road and the mental hiccups I have as a result of them. It certainly is educational and always gives me courage to keep writing, even for the lack of comments.

I’m sitting here in the middle of the night, although you could say that it is almost early in the morning. I depends on how optimistic you are. I tend to be optimistic and see this as the beginning of the morning because the early birds will start singing in about another hour, before it even is dawn. Sunrise will be at 5:24 AM this morning, but those birds start singing much earlier. I’m glad that they do because it makes everything sound so much more cheerful.

My new summer cardigan arrived yesterday. I waited for it half of the afternoon and then had enough sense to look in the mailbox where it was. I could finally take the dog for his walk and he was eager to go. The cardigan is lovely and the weather was just right for it. I have enough clothes that will match it and I’m going to wear it often. I do love cardigans as they can complete an outfit perfectly and they are good if the weather is just a bit chilly, but too warm for a jacket.  I got it on sale and saved 25 Euros. That was a good deal, I thought.

I watched ‘Midsomer Murders’ last night and went to bed late. It was a satisfactory episode, as usual. There’s always enough of a twist at the end to  have a surprising outcome. I went to sleep at midnight listening to a discussion on the radio about country music and why it had never caught on in this country. Apparently, a lot of people are not appreciative enough of the real stuff and think of country music as something to line dance to. These are the same sort of people that listen to singers of ‘life songs’ that we call ‘sad rags.’

I’ve switched from coffee to milk and I’m getting tired now. I will have to go back to bed because I’m starting to yawn. It will be lovely to go to sleep again.

I hope you’ll all have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora